Become the Type of Person Who...

Nov 2

6 min read

By Andrea Spyros & Nancy DeFina | BD3 Solutions

A few weeks ago, Nancy shared her Tidy Like a BOSS story, which included an idea we want to look into today: when you take a small action and feel good about it, you begin to see yourself differently. Since then, we have been talking about the Three “A”s. Now let’s bring these two concepts together.

What You Were Really Practicing

Look back at what each "A" asked you to do.

Catch yourself when a judgment shows up.
Challenge yourself with a kinder, more useful question.
Credit yourself for what you actually got done.

Those are all tiny actions, and every one of them also says something about who you are: someone who notices, someone who gets curious, someone who gives themselves credit where it’s due.

Our article, “How to Interrupt Your Own Inner Critic”, mentioned that catching yourself can change your identity. And changing your identity could be the most powerful tool for Untangling Procrastination for good.

The Kind of Person Who

When Dr. BJ Fogg first ran his five-day Tiny Habits program, he began hearing the same thing from participants. They arrived believing they were set in their ways and it was impossible for them to change. After completing the program, many were saying, "I'm now the kind of person who can follow through," or “I’m the type of person who can change.” Notice that this isn’t just about adding one or two habits into their daily routine; this is a profound shift in the way people perceived themselves. That’s the power of identity.

One of the people Fogg writes about is Sukumar, who had always believed he simply wasn't an exercise guy. He treated it as a fixed fact about himself, like his height. Then he started the Tiny Habit Recipe: After I brush my teeth, I will do two push-ups. That felt like a success, and that feeling opened a door. Over the following months, he lost 20 pounds and five inches vanished from his waist. Now he starts his daily one-hour workout with 50 push-ups and ends it with a five-minute plank.

He told Fogg: “BJ, I’ve transformed myself.”

Every Action Is a Vote

It’s in our nature to act as we see ourselves. Why is that? It goes back far in human development, and we still carry that wiring.

Imagine that every action is a vote for the person you want to be. Reply to the email you’ve been putting off, and you’ll have voted for someone who follows through. Open the fridge instead of the report, and you've voted for a different candidate. No single vote decides the election. One day of scrolling doesn't make you a scroller, and one good morning does not turn you into a finisher. But the votes do add up, and after enough of them, you start identifying with the ones that win, whether they are “good” or “bad”.

If procrastination has been part of your life for some time, you've probably been casting the same vote for years; perhaps you even consider yourself a “procrastinator.” (There’s your identity showing up for you.) No one ever does this on purpose. No one ever gets up in the morning and decides to vote for the candidate who stands for “I can’t finish things.” But eventually you may find yourself saying things like, “I’m lazy,” “I’m just not disciplined,” or “I’m not good enough.” Those are Judgments, the same ones you learned to recognize in the Three "A"s, and they're what all those old votes sound like. You get to start casting new ones today.

GET OUR NEWEST GUIDE

Be Kinder to Yourself, Get More Done: Tiny Habits® to Stop Judging Yourself

and Start Moving Forward

YES, I WANT IT!

Votes Count More With a Good Feeling

A new vote grows stronger when a good feeling comes with it. Emotion is what wires in a habit, and that includes the habit of seeing yourself as a certain kind of person. The feeling of success that accompanies an action is what Dr. Fogg calls “Shine.” You can intentionally create Shine through Celebration. Celebration goes beyond just wiring in a habit. It turns an action into evidence about who you are. When you have experienced yourself as a different type of person, even for a moment, something shifts in how you see yourself, and that shift is irreversible.

That’s why the third "A," “Accomplishments,” carries such weight. By giving yourself credit for what you’ve done, you give your brain proof to work with, and proof makes it possible to change a story you've told yourself for years.

It also explains why identity change spreads. When Sukumar took action, he began to see himself as a person who exercises; other healthy choices started to seem natural to him. For someone who identifies as a healthy person, eating pumpkin seeds in place of croutons in a salad, or choosing farmers market produce over fast food, no longer feels like a big decision. When your identity shifts, it opens the door to a whole new set of behaviors you may never have planned.

You've Already Been Voting for What You Want

Before you cast any new vote, take a look at the ballots already cast in your favor. This is the Accomplishments “A” at work, telling you to look back instead of ahead with dread.

Think of a time when you did something hard. Maybe you finished a project you'd been dreading, had a difficult conversation, or showed up on a day you really didn't feel like it. Each of these was a vote for the kind of person you'd like to be, and none disappeared because you procrastinated on something else later. We generally give much more weight to the bad than the good. We remember every deadline we squeaked past and forget the many we handled fine.

Spend a minute listing some of your victories. You are collecting evidence, and evidence makes the next vote easier to cast. Some people are surprised to see how long the list becomes when they actually start writing it down.

Try the Person On Before It Feels True

You don't have to wait until you feel like a different person. Dr. Fogg suggests trying one on. When he wanted to get into fermented foods, he went to a fermentation festival, met people who were already doing it, and came home feeling like someone who could eat, and even make sauerkraut. When he learned to surf, he picked up the lingo and wore surf-themed T-shirts. Borrowing the words and the habits of the person you want to become helps your brain get comfortable with the idea.

For procrastination, that might sound insignificant. Instead of going on autopilot, try something different when you sit down to work. Maybe you say "I'm someone who starts" out loud as you open the document you've been avoiding. Or you visualize how you will handle distractions during your day. It may feel a little silly the first few times. That's fine; you’re doing something new.

Cast One Vote Today

You can do this in less than two minutes.

1. Finish the sentence “I’m the kind of person who...” Choose something you can believe today. For instance, “...starts before I feel ready,” “...can do hard things,” or “...gives myself credit.”

2. Pick one tiny action that person would take. Make it small enough that it doesn’t require much motivation or willpower.

3. Celebrate the moment you take action. A smile, a fist pump, a “Yes!” Anything that gives you a real flash of good feeling works.

Try this Tiny Habit Recipe: After I sit down at my desk, I will open the document I've been avoiding and type one sentence. Celebrate with a grin and "That's what a starter does!”

One vote won't flip the election, and it doesn't have to; the election isn’t over.

Next time, we'll look at one small shift in language that changes how all your votes get counted: the difference between being a procrastinator and procrastinating.

Andrea Spyros and Nancy DeFina are the founders of BD3 Solutions and creators of Untangle Procrastination™, a science-based program grounded in models and methods from the Stanford Behavior Design Lab.

ICYMI→Get our full program here.

Learn more at bd3solutions.com/untangleprocrastination.